Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Randomize
