Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
