I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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