Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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