i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
