I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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