i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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