I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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