I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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