I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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