any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
