i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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