I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
