The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
