You're completely useless in the revolution.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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