It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
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She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
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Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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