you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
