grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
should my penis look like a turkey
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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