Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
