so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
