yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I looked at my own cervix.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
You took a bar mat shot.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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