it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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