I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Let's paint friendship bongs
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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