DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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