You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
