yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
