I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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