I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
