You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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