what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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