You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
