Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
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