If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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