he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
