I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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