in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
