Nicole vs. Life
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
