I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
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we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
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wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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