That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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