drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
