Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
