i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
