I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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