AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
