Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
How does it feel to date your dad?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
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