No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
