Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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