Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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