i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
