you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
