I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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