YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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