All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
