wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
