You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
