So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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