Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
