Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
